“Most Turkeys are artificially inseminated!” she announced, as I was about to eat my first bite. “The bird is too heavy to procreate the old fashioned way!” she added, gulping down a can of Dr Pepper. “It’s all that breast meat! These birds are raised solely for the breast meat!” Discouraged, I chose to dig my fork into the brusselsprouts instead of the Turkey.

We moved onto a different topic. From thanksgiving and its artificially inseminated turkeys we started talking about “Black Friday!” I told her that I needed a new computer, but I was gonna go look for deals online. “I don’t get the concept of standing in line for something, you know!”